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In a corner of Bangkok, there is a place that will be forever
England. Mark Lindesay finds a warm welcome at Jools Bar and
Restaurant in the heart of the Thai capital.
From the outside the place looks typically unassuming: Smoked
glass door and windows front a nondescript shop-house a few doors
up from Bangkok's (in)famous "Nana Entertainment Plaza". The
frontage could hide any number of sins (and many maintain it does).
Even the name is somewhat misleading - there is not, and never has
been, a "Jools", Julian or anyone resembling the misnomer
associated with the bar and restaurant.
In fact, anyone visiting Jools more than a couple of times is
almost certain to come across the proprietor, David Hoyle, a.k.a.
Big Dave. Dave, who took over the bar from its two British founders
in 1995, is the larger-than-life character occupying the captain's
chair at the head of the horseshoe-shaped bar on the ground floor.
He enjoys his position, both metaphorically and geographically,
being equidistant from the ever ringing bell (more of which later)
and the open-staircase that winds up to the restaurant upstairs.
This strategic location is perfect for the appreciation of the
staff's (and occasional customer's) almost too-brief skirts - to
which anyone who has witnessed Dave's interview technique will
attest.
Grub to Die(t) for
Larger-than-life Dave may be, but he was once much larger.
Before undergoing a severe diet and later surgery in 1998, Dave
weighed in at a mighty 210-kilos. Following this exercise in
self-control (or self denial), he managed to lose 84-kilos and
returned to the bar a slip of a man at just 124-kilos. Due to the
nature of the business (and that ever-ringing bell), his "halo" has
slipped substantially and he currently registers around 170-kilos
on the scales. Another crash-diet has been announced and he's
recently been off the booze (much to the disappointment of his
loyal clientele) aiming at a weight of 120-kilos or
thereabouts.
This will be no easy task - order just about any item from the
extensive menu or specials board and you'll understand why
weight-watchers would never give their seal of approval to Jools.
The portions are (almost) grotesquely huge.
The quality of the food itself however is a revelation, and
provides a welcome change for anyone missing honest British cuisine
in Thailand. No fewer than four traditional roasts are available on
a daily basis (choose from chicken, pork, beef or lamb), all served
with at least two kinds of potato and Yorkshire pudding. Yes,
Yorkshire pudding with chicken - believe me, it goes down a treat.
Other British staples include cottage pie, gammon and eggs,
traditional fish-and-chips "a la Bognor Regis" according to the
menu, great soups and one of the best British breakfasts in town.
Toad-in-the-hole is a recent addition, as are pork pies and Scotch
eggs, which frequently feature on the specials board.
Even the cheeseburger has been singled out for particular praise
by the American security detail to Madeleine Allbright on her
recent trip through Thailand - not bad for a "British" pub.
Warm Welcome
But, we're not here to review the food - we're here for the
beer. Jools provides Bangkok's legion British expatriate community
with a welcome few similar establishments in town can match. The
staff - attractively attired in the above-mentioned skirts - are
courteous (to a point) and very friendly. More importantly for
many, they are attentive and efficient, most speaking relatively
good English.
The range of drinks available is similar to that in most other
Bangkok watering holes, and the atmosphere - well, the atmosphere
is varied, and highly addictive. It is not unknown for certain
patrons of Jools to lose more than a few days' work following a
session hanging on to the bell at the end of the bar.
The Bell
The system works like this: ring the bell once and all customers
enjoy a drink at your expense; ring twice and the staff get in on
the act too. To be fair, the management is responsible for the bell
ringing almost as often as the customers. BEWARE: ringing the bell
can be a costly experience for those with limited funds. It's
often best left to the "professional" Jools customer.
BEWARE II: Don't hang around collecting "free" drinks either -
four glasses in front of you and you're eligible for the "BIG
GLASS" pictured at top of page.
While the bar is much frequented by the expat community,
everyone and anyone are welcome, says Dave, "as long as they have
80 baht (£1.30) in their pocket for a beer." More
importantly, they are made to feel welcome.
So, if you're feeling a little homesick, or just tired of Thai
cuisine and Bangkok's ubiquitous go-go scene, Jools bar is a great
place to grab a great British bite, or just to enjoy a drink in
good company (and maybe lose a day or two of one's busy
schedule).
Jools Bar & Restaurant
Soi 4, Sukhumvit Road
Bangkok 10110, Thailand
Tel: (66-2) 252 6413
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